Chronicles of a Hopeless Romantic: A Masterclass in Almosts

If cosmic timing had an HR department, I’d be filing a formal complaint. Because for years now, I’ve been stuck in an endless loop of almosts—almost relationships, almost love stories, almost something worth my damn time.

It starts the same way every time: intrigue, possibility, a glimmer of something real. And then—like clockwork—things unravel. Ghosting, lukewarm affection, the dreaded “lol” text response when I pour my soul into a conversation. If there were degrees in disappointment, I’d be tenured.

I’m convinced that the universe has me on some kind of karmic dating experiment—how long can she hold onto hope? How many red flags can she ignore before she finally calls it? (Spoiler: too many.)

And yet, I keep believing. Maybe that’s my fatal flaw. Maybe it’s my secret superpower. Because despite every setback, despite every moment where I wonder if I’m just meant to be the main character in a cautionary tale, I refuse to settle for anything less than real.

So here I am—writing this, laughing through the heartbreak, collecting my honorary PhD in emotional resilience. Still waiting for the love story, still navigating the plot twists, still keeping the faith that maybe, just maybe, cosmic timing will finally decide to stop ghosting me.

Cue the Taylor Swift playlist…